3 months ago today around 2:30 in the afternoon I walked away from great people and a great salary all in the name of self-love and peace.

My accounts were healthy and thriving but I had no peace. I was in Corporate America living the dream. I excelled in my position and I worked alongside amazing people but all the while I was empty.

This was the first of many events this summer that began the hardest season of my life thus far.

I was dealing, I was healing, I was broke, and I went from being fiercely independent to a kid again. Emotionally, I felt sooo unstable but I was so at peace.

At peace because I KNEW this was God’s plan. Because I knew this season was necessary…ordained. At peace because on July 5th, while sitting on the couch God told me that a day of reckoning (a testing time when the degree of one’s success or failure will be revealed) was coming.

My prayer life, my faithfulness, my obedience, my consistency, my faith, my heart, my willingness to love unconditionally, my hope, my mental health, my maturity, my wisdom, my business, my strength tested..all tested.

Not one part of my life went untouched. I went through, and am still going through an unlearning of everything I thought I knew about myself and moreover everything I thought I knew about God.

I applied to job after job and only heard no after no…my heart went through extreme highs and lows…people walked away…people tried it…but I didn’t fight, I submitted.

And the only solace I have is that I believe I made God proud …simply because I didn’t do what I would’ve done a year ago. I didn’t run. I didn’t stray. I didn’t resist. I didn’t quit. I didn’t die. I didn’t allow myself to be hard-hearted. I didn’t sit down.

Rather, I fought. I persevered. I carried on. I kept going. I didn’t give up…and I won’t because I choose to believe that even on the other side of this…there is something beautiful waiting for me.

This summer was hard. I took sooooooooo many L’s. My heart is still broken over a few of them…BUT I choose to believe in God’s perfect plan, His provision, His providence and His promise.
He has proven to be faithful and though I didn’t get what I wanted…I’ve had everything I needed.

So yes, I’m still hurting. Yes, I’m still broke, BUT

“We have this treasure from God. But we are only like clay jars that hold the treasure. This shows that this great power is from God, not from us. We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed.”‭‭

2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:7-9‬ ‭ICB

So…though the story does not end like a fairytale…it takes a pause in faith…acknowledging that the suffering in this moment is incomparable to the glory that is coming. It was, it is, and shall be well.

So if you, too, are in a season of transition, shift and unlearning…I earnestly admonish you to cling to God. It is in His presence where joy and safety abound. Abide, dwell, and rest in Him.

For even though our outer person gradually wears out, our inner being is renewed every single day.

2 Corinthians 4:16b TPT

This may feel like your Job season but the tried and proven are the trusted and powerful. May you submit to the process and come out better on the other side.

You are in my prayers.

Elle.